6 Responses to Do Facebook friendships have to be superficial?

  1. D / DM says:

    I don’t think Facebook friendships have to be superficial, but it depends on how you define depth. I have a group of friends on Facebook, originally assembled over a common interest, whom I’ve never met in real life and quite possibly never will. The friendships may not be as deep in some ways as the deepest of my “real world” friendships, but they are definitely deeper and more beneficial than a lot of acquaintances and casual friendships. I can honestly say that (among other benefits) I think it has increased my confidence in dealing with “real world” social interactions.

    I feel like this is an atypical case, but even so, I think there is real potential for social media to facilitate meaningful connections between people.

  2. Good to hear that FB has led to meaningful friendships. I wonder if they become deeper in a different way than “real world” friendships. Perhaps finding the right people online is a more self-conscious process, too. Why do you think your experience is atypical?

  3. A great article, Lynn. I’m glad I stumbled upon it. You’ve provided a lot of great tips. I think a lot of people are falling out of love with Facebook. Many of my family and friends have closed their accounts. I’ve also noticed that there’s less activity than there used to be.

    D/DM, unfortunately they’re a lot more superficial than it appears. That’s the way of the internet. You sound like me about fifteen years ago when I first got online. I’ve found that when push comes to shove, a majority of those online friends vanish, and, usually it’s the ones you think will be there for you. And that can be painful. Still, I too have made a few lasting online friendships over the years that I treasure.

  4. Hi Bobette, thanks for commenting. I wonder why it is that people who want more from their online contact, give up in frustration. What has worked for you, in making lasting online connections?

  5. EricIndiana says:

    I think that friendships are almost always going to be unsatisfying as we grow older – Facebook or not. It’s just hard to make deep connections with others as we go about our busy lives. Plus, our culture does not promote deep interpersonal connections. Here’s what I’m trying to say about friendship: http://daisybrain.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/musings-on-friendship/

  6. Many parts of our lives evolve as we go through the developmental journey. It would be surprising if friendship was not one of them. I suspect that for many people, real friendships become fewer but deeper as we mature — at least, for women. Men’s friendships seem, generally, more based on sharing of activities than soul-sharing, but of course they can make different choices. As adolescents, we seek a sense of belonging with our peer group. As adults, we are more selective, and seek those who can share our values and unique passions. It may be more difficult to find them, but that sounds like an invitation to creativity. Can Facebook play a role?

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